Thursday, December 08, 2005

In case you needed any more reasons...

...to hate lawyers, lay your eyeballs on this:
Trial lawyers who made a fortune from lawsuits against tobacco companies are moving on to a new potential payday: Suing soft drink companies over the sale of sugary beverages in schools.

Stephen Gardner, staff lawyer for the Center for Science in the Public Interest, and half a dozen other lawyers – several of them veterans of successful tobacco litigation – plan to file a lawsuit in the next few months seeking to ban sales of sugary beverages in schools.

Gardner argues that soda and other sugary beverages are harmful to students' health and that selling those drinks in schools "sends a message that their regular consumption is perfectly fine," according to the New York Times.
I'm not sure I'm familiar with the kitchy Coke jingle that goes, "Have a 8 per day, it's perfectly Okay!"

Apparently the soda industry has been sending out agents to commandeer unwilling consumers, steering them towards soda machines and telepathically controlling them to wrench change out of their pockets or purse and thrust the money into these evil electric libation dispensers against their will, all in an effort to make money. The humanity! As punishment for being in business, soda companies will have to spend millions to protect themselves from paying billions.

I'm a little confused that lawyers will sue the soda company when I make the conscious decision to shove sugary syrup down my throat, but they won't sue Captain Morgan for my lack of sobriety if the two mixed together in enough quantities makes my hit someone head-on.

Do the world a favor - kick a lawyer.

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