Friday, October 07, 2005

Just in case.

Because I gratuitously advertised it, many of you know that I had a birthday last week.

What many of you don't know, is one of my birthday gifts.

At about 2pm on Sunday, I'll be hurling myself out of an airplane from 13,000 feet. This isn't one of those jumps where I have some guy with a mullet named Rod who drives a ratty Camaro with a "my other car is a parachute" bumper sticker strapped to my back. Oh no, this is Accelerated Free Fall(scroll down). After about a 1 minute free-fall, I'll be pulling my own rip cord and maneuvering myself to what I hope will be a smooth touchdown on terra firma and a girlfriend who doesn't feel let down. My good buddy Jae and I will be taking the 6 hour course together before we jump out of the same plane.

Bless my girlfriend and her sadistic little heart for the generous gift. If the chute opens, it was a gift for me. If the chute doesn't open, it was a gift for her. 50-50 chance. The fun thing is that I won't know until I pull the cord. I'll either see an unfurled canopy or just a tattered banner that reads, "So-long, sucker!" Ah, the anticipation. Baby, if it isn't too late, I'm sorry for not getting you more than a card for your birthday and that I haven't asked forgiveness.

Just in case I'm reduced to 2 dimensions, allow me to say my goodbyes now. I'll leave my login and password for my blog in a place that will be found shortly after they throw a couple shovels of dirt over the dent I make in a Wisconsin field, so that someone can tell you not to expect any more postings. Funeral arrangements will also be listed in case you'd like to come and spit on what's left of me or cry your eyeballs out. Hot or cold, nothing in-between.

If I survive, I'll be sure to post some photos and a dramatic re-telling of what will turn out to be free fall from 15, 20, 30 or 40 thousand feet, ignoring that nearly everyone knows those jumps require special equipment and qualifications. Froggy, if you're listening, thanks for all the help with traffic, brother.

I've always wanted to skydive before I die. I just hope it's more than two minutes before.

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