Wednesday, July 06, 2005

The Liberal approach to other jobs.

During hostilities, US soldiers are employed to conduct and win at war. That's their job. Liberals try to get in the way with their "I support the troops, bring them home now" method of quitting and the "I support the troops, not what they do" method of making excuses for not supporting the troops.

What if we applied that methodology to some of life's other jobs?

Oncology
Liberal: We support the doctor, not operating on cancer.
Excuse: "I'm sorry Mr. Patient, but we're going have to suspend treatment. No, we haven't gotten totally rid of your tumor, but it's taking more time than we thought. Well, because it's bigger than we thought and we decided before we started that we'd give it a whirl for a couple months. No sir, there's no way that fighting cancer can get rid of it. Well, I know it appears that others have had success by fighting the cancer, but we'd prefer to believe the cancer would have gone away if we just left it alone. Any impression they beat cancer by fighting it is pure coincidence. Mr. Patient, I've seen people lose their fight with cancer. Trust me when I suggest we stop treatment now, I know how it'll end. What again would you like on your headstone?"

Law Enforcement
Liberal: We support the police officer, not if he makes arrests.
Liberal Excuse: "After years of 'fighting crime,' I'd like to direct your attention to the man over there stealing my car as evidence that we are losing the fight. Misunderstood perps are still robbing, stealing and killing, to say nothing about chronic speeders, so we've decided to scale back our policing efforts and suspend arrests. Crime rates have dropped while our jails continue to fill, a contradiction we can't understand and evidence that we aren't changing enough hearts and minds to warrant the resentment we encounter each day. We're people too and we have feelings. While we have all national new channels present, we thought it appropriate and constructive to announce the officers in the following cities will be re-assigned to non-patrol objectives at the following times: Los Angeles, 1.15pm on June 8th. Detroit, 12.39pm on June 9th. Minneapolis, 7.00pm today. We expect to have all officers out of all other cities in 6 months 2 weeks 4 days 1 hour and 18 minutes."

Fire Fighting
Liberal: We support the firefighters, not when he puts out fires.
Excuse: "Sir, we're going to have to turn off the water. I'm sorry, sir, but we got a late start on this baby and it'll be a little more difficult to extinguish than we thought. No, no, we have plenty of water, it's just that I don't exactly see how putting out your fire directly benefits me. Besides, that fire really doesn't exist. Anyone's evidence to the contrary is a lie based on their inner hostility towards combustibles. We need to understand fire in order to live side by side to it. Besides, you're the one who's arranged your home in such as way as to provoke a fire. You invited the fire by building your house out of wood. All we can do at this point is just sit back and watch. Pass me a tong and a marshmallow."

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