Thursday, April 21, 2005

Independent of the Senate in '06

Having submitted the following verbal entry in 2005's Conspiracy Theory Scan in a recent radio interview, Republican defector turned Independent, Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords, has secured the last coveted spot in the Prozac wing of Bellevue Hospital. In order to serve his duties as CT Scan winner, Mr. Jeffords will not be running for re-election in '06.

In an interview AFTER the historical Iraqi elections, when asked about what he thought the war means.
"I think it was all done to get oil," Jeffords said of invading Iraq. "And the loss of life that we had, and the cost of it, was to me just a re-election move, and they're going to try to live off it. Probably start another war, wouldn't be surprised, next year. Probably in Iran."

"Do you think that's likely?" VPR host Bob Kinzel asked.

"I probably shouldn't even talk on it, I just feel so bitter about the thinking that's gone on behind them, and the reasons they go to war and went to war," Jeffords replied. "But I feel very strongly that they are looking ahead, and that there will be an opportunity to go into Iran and try to get their son elected president. I don't know, but you do it each time they (are) going to have a new president. I'm very, very (Jeffords chuckles). Oh, well, I better be quiet."
Mr. Jeffords booty will include an embroidered tinfoil hat, invitation to be the guest of honor at the Democratic National Convention and a life-time appointment as strategic advisor to fellow Vermonter Howard Dean.

Jeffords may even make an appearance in the follow-up book of Michael Savage, titled Liberalism is a Mental Disorder.

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