Tuesday, March 08, 2005

United States of Amexica

In a world ruled by common sense, would an illegal alien who takes a dive off a scaffolding win $4 million dollars from his employer? No. That's why we have this story:
A Bronx, N.Y., day laborer living and working illegally in the United States has been awarded a $4 million settlement for injuries suffered on the job, the largest ever award of its kind, the New York Sun reported Tuesday in a Page One story.

The undocumented Mexican native, who did not want his identity known out of fear that news of the settlement would put his family at risk of kidnapping in Mexico, fell 30 feet from a scaffolding at a construction site Oct. 18, 2001, the paper said.

As a result, the 33-year-old migrant suffered numerous injuries, including a collapsed lung, loss of one eye, loss of his sense of smell, and brain damage, the paper reported.

The Mexican’s trial attorneys were pleased with the result – the largest award ever won by an illegal immigrant in the U.S.

"The lesson today for all the undocumented immigrants of New York is they have the same rights to access the courts in New York City as any American citizen," Brian O'Dwyer of O'Dwyer and Bernstein LLP told reporters Monday.
Well that's refreshing. If I'm ever killed in a dispute over a parking spot and my family is anxiously awaiting justice, at least they'll find comfort in knowing that a someone breaking the law every second they're in the U.S. may be exercising the "same right as any American citizen." I love Amexica!
"Our client came, the family of our client came, to the association believing they didn't have any rights because they were undocumented," he said, noting the migrant's brother talked him into pursuing legal action after the fall, which hospitalized him for three months.

"We took the case and we fought against the owner of the building and the companies employing him, and in the end we received a payment for him of $4 million. This week they are going to pay these $4 million to our client," O'Dwyer said.
I guess I've always lived under the silly impression that there may be some dis-incentive for illegals to attempt a border jump or trunk stuffing. Let's just get it over with and take an eraser to that arbitrary line on all the world's maps that runs from the Gulf to the Pacific. We'll send invitation to each country's capital letting them know that we're giving unlimited Amexican driver's licenses to anyone who enters from the south. We'll entice them further by letting them know that they won't even have to show it to vote. We'll take them on their word. After all, they're just coming here for a better life, right?

It'll all work out perfectly. The U.S. doesn't have an official language, so any will do. Textbooks will be written in 463 languages and street signs will be written in the two predominant languages of the year. By 2020, if you can't read Spanish or Arabic, find a navigator who can. Our national anthem will become the rusty creaking of an opening door and our national bird with be something genetically altered by harvesting mutant stem cells of every country's national bird. Our new national passtime will be working 3 extra jobs to pay our 70% tax rate.

Silly? Would you have considered the above story silly 10 years ago?

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