Thursday, March 10, 2005

Please poison me.

Will someone please slip me a roofie and wake me when the MJ carnival is over, because I'm on the verge of shoving dull corkscrews in my eyeballs and rusty spoons into my eardrums. I've been searching the internet for some kind of mechanism that I can download on my PC and install in my TV that automatically blocks the sickness of the MJ trial and his latest ER-required malady. A cough one week, bad back this week, sunburn next week, cornea replacement the next...
ANTA MARIA, Calif. (AP) - A pajama-clad Michael Jackson arrived more than an hour late to his child molestation trial Thursday, but the judge who had threatened to arrest him resumed the case without taking any action against the singer in open court.
When 86% of the testimony against you involves what you did to someone while one of you were in their pajamas, how profanely stupid do you have to be to wear them to court? People like Michael Jackson are the reason there are warnings on toasters that say, "DO NOT USE WHILE IN THE BATHTUB."

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