Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy Pat's Day!

With growing fear that the derelicts at the ACLU will aim their cultural terrorism at me, my headline omits "St." and "rick".

Having stepped up their rackateering efforts to extort concessions from the threat to civilization otherwise known as the Boy Scouts, the ACLU is threatening schools with lawsuits if they continue to allow the little bigots to meet on taxpayer turf. I'm concerned with being slapped with a violation of the "separation clause" lawsuit for using a derivative of the radioactive word "Saint."

My fears have merit. The ACLU's brand of religious radical secularism is vaporizing all things Christian from public view - from county seals, to Ten Commandments to war memorials. It's simply a matter of time before private citizens are caught in the ACLU's intolerant cross-hairs. I'll even be cautious about who and how I wish Happy Pat's day to, so as not offend cottony feelings of any passers by.

In an effort to stay more progressive than the ACLU currently requires, I've even modified the gender-specific "Patrick" to a gender-neutral "Pat" so as not to ping on the ACLU's radar as bigoted, sexist or close-minded.

So join me in celebrating Pat's Day while we can. For next year, the ACLU may want to remove "Day" because it discriminates against "Morning, Noon and Night."

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