Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Penalty called for offensive pilsner marketing

Although it's nearly impossible to malign some organizations into further irrelevance when their highest achievement has peaked at a modest subterranean level, I'm going to give it a try anyway.

Not having smelled alchohol since 1972, the Center for Science in the Public Interest has involuntarily entered itself as a candidate of the Spanktuary's "Taking Itself Too Seriously to be Taken Seriously Award." Showing the effects of years and years of constant sobriety, the group you've never heard of before or will again has taken offense to fictional pilsner pilfering:
ST. LOUIS -- A consumer watchdog group is throwing a flag on Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc.'s commercials featuring beer-stealing football referees who lie to and run from police, arguing the spots wrongly depict lawlessness.

"One can't help wonder whether the ads also have some other message in mind, namely, that breaking the law and bamboozling law enforcement efforts is a fine way to get a Bud Light," wrote Hacker, chief of the center's Alcohol Policies Project. "Is that a message that Anheuser-Busch wants to send our millions of underage persons and adults who tuned into these games?"

One can't help but wonder if Mr. Hacker has ever found himself pleading to God that "I'll never do this again if you save me from throwing up." Anyone who's ever had a hangover knows that a referee's eyesight is too poor to bamboozle Bud Light from a horde of thirsty fans. If Mr. Hacker had gone through a 12 step Buzz Kill Anonymous program, he'd know that the best way for a hoser to score free beer is to raise a baby mouse in a bottle, return it to the brewery when it's mature and claim that's how you found it, eh.

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