Monday, November 29, 2004

Dejected, OBL sends in reinforcements.

al Qaida held their version of a press conference today, which really means they picked up their red phone that rings into Dan Rather's counterpart's office at Al Jazeera, to let them know a new video is a comin'.

Dejected his pre-election video went over so well with Bush voters, Osama bin Laden sent out his #2 guy, Zawahri, to put a scare into us. He stopped just short of putting his arms over his head, making hand claws and bellowing in a deep voice a little kid would use trying to frighten others:
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Osama bin Laden's top deputy vowed in a videotape aired Monday to keep fighting the United States until Washington changed its policies.

In a brief excerpt broadcast on Al-Jazeera television, Ayman al-Zawahri offered Americans "one last advice" for dealing with Muslims, adding, "I am sure that they will not heed it."

"You have to choose between one of two methods to deal with Muslims: either on mutual respect and exchange of interests, or to deal with them as if they are spoils of war," al-Zawahri said. "This is your problem and you have to choose yourself. You have to realize that we are a nation of patience and endurance. We will stand firm to fight you with [Allah's] help until doomsday."

American instant message to Zawahri: You've got yourself a deal! Let's put 'Doomsday' on the calendar. I think we've got an opening right between your new monthly holidays of Run and Hide. But we're a little worried about Osama. He looks a little sullen in your latest video. Is that a tear and a pout? Listen, #2, if Osama expects to scare us, he'll have to project a little more strength than Barney the dinosaur. This is a war of wills and your's won't win.

Looking forward to arranging your meeting with Allah,

Happy Infidel in Minneapolis

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