Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Dear Liberals:

Go chew a rock and gargle gravel.

A lone cowboy has defeated your armada of elites, mainstream media and dirty pandering politicians. You're irrelevant, useless. Your stratospheric threshold for embarrassing yourself would make Howard Dean blush.

Your crack-funded voter registrations didn't work, nor did the disenfranchisement hallucinations and impotent delusions of intimidation. Where I'm from, we have a lake for each of your 10,000 lawyers.

The American people have spoken. We don't need your Jason Blairs, your Dan Rathers or your CBS. We don't need your New York Times, LA Times or your Star Tribune. You can keep your Michael Moore Syndrome and Fahrenheit 9/11 fever. Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Leo DiCaprio, Bruce Springsteen, and P Diddy can go bling-bling themselves.

You can take your "reporting for duty," your UN and global test, your daily doom and gloom on every front page and lead story. You can take your childish, naaive pacifism peddled as foreign policy strategy. You can take your cries for the popular vote, your quests for a 24-word Pledge of Allegiance and your expunging of the 10 Commandments, cross and prayers. You can take your 'blame America first' reflex, your French-looking 'anybody but Bush' candidate and especially his wacky wife. In a lexicon you can understand, you can take it all and "shove it!"

We're not buying what you're selling, even with your army of billionaires and celebrities. All the botox and callogen on the planet couldn't extremely makeover your homely ass. An ass with a flat forehead and puffy lips is still and ass.

In the mountains, in the valleys and everywhere in between those white-foamed oceans, free of your elite echo-chambers, the country has responded to your 'hope is on the way' by declaring "Four More Years!"

Good riddance.

P.S. The big kids will handle the Senate, too.

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